What is Intimate Partner Violence?

Intimate partner violence, often referred to as domestic violence, is a pattern of behaviors a person takes to maintain control over a romantic partner. It can show up in a variety of forms, including physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, and financial abuse. Quite often, an action or pattern will fall under more than one of these categories.

You might be unsure whether what you’ve experienced in a relationship is intimate partner violence. This is very common–abuse tactics can be incredibly sophisticated and sometimes subtle, which might lead you to question your experience. The typical cycle of abuse makes it even more difficult.

If you’re still trying to make sense of a current or previous relationship, we can work together to process your experience.

Therapy for Adults Experiencing Abuse

If you’re experiencing toxic relationship patterns, the idea of getting support can be overwhelming. You might really love your partner, despite all that has happened. If they’re a financial provider or co-parent, it’s probably hard to imagine a way forward without them. You might be nervous about judgment or pressure from others–even a therapist.

All feelings are welcome here. I will never judge you for what you’ve been through or how you feel about it. I will never pressure you to leave a relationship that you’re not ready to leave.

My goal is to provide the support necessary to allow you to safely weigh what’s best for you. Our work will prioritize on the following:

Physical safety - We’ll discuss how safe you feel spending time with/sharing a home with your partner. If you’ve felt physically threatened, we can work together to create a safety plan to give you a greater sense of security and control in your environment. We’ll start with what you already know, and build skills and knowledge from there.

Emotional safety - Starting with our relationship, we’ll focus on how you can feel safe to express yourself and navigate the emotional landscape before you. We’ll collaborate to process what you’re going through, and what you need in order to feel more supported in your life.

Options - Once physical and emotional safety have been addressed, we have more space to assess your options. What is best for you and your family? What do you want? What will enable you to make the decisions that feel right?

Recovery After an Abusive Relationship

Life after an abusive relationship might bring up complex feelings. Your experience might include feelings of grief, joy, anxiety, and relief. Often, the period after an abusive relationship ends is when folks experience the onset of PTSD symptoms. You want to create a fresh start, and instead you feel distressed, reliving the anxiety and confusion you had then.

No two experiences are exactly the same, and people bring different experiences to the therapy space. Our work will cater to where you are in this process and might include some of the following:

Recovery - We’ll focus on how you can make your life feel like yours again. This can mean establishing a sense of safety, rebuilding your support system, and adjusting to a new set of needs, among other work.

Healing - Intimate partner violence is a traumatic experience that can impact you long after the relationship ends. We will work to understand the scope of your experience and heal the traumatic wounds that continue to cause distress.

Relationships - Looking forward, we’ll work on learning to trust yourself and another person in a relationship again. If you’ve experienced a pattern of abuse in relationships, we can explore why that might be and learn to identify potential partners who feel safe.

If you’re currently in crisis, please contact The National Domestic Violence Hotline:

https://www.thehotline.org

1-800-787-3224