Individual Therapy for Dating and Relationships
Relationship Issues
Relationships are fundamental to our wellbeing, and having a strong
support system has a
positive impact on our mental health. Many of my clients have felt frustrated or disappointed by
their relationships, either because they’ve had trouble finding people they connect with, they
experience anxiety and conflict, or their needs aren’t being met.
Struggling in relationships is a lonely feeling, and it certainly
doesn’t help that people have
been more isolated than ever. Doing the work of building or rebuilding connections after years
of separation can be overwhelming.
Individual therapy can be transformative for your relationships.
Understanding why you’ve had a
hard time finding fulfillment around others can give you a greater sense of control. Creating
positive, healthy relationships is a skill that can be cultivated.
Therapy for Dating
If you’ve had a difficult time dating, you know it can be incredibly
painful. It can seem
as though others move in and out of relationships with ease while you are struggling to meet
quality people to spend your time with.
You might notice that you get hurt often, even when it seems like
you’ve met someone great.
You wonder if it’s just bad luck, or if there’s something about you that makes others feel
ok being careless.
These are such common feelings. Difficulty in dating might be painful
and lonely, but it
does not mean something is wrong with you. It is possible to meet wonderful people who see
you for the kind and unique person you are. With some exploration, we can gain a better
understanding of your experience and make connecting with others feel easier.
Depending on your needs, these are a few things we may focus on
together:
Patterns - We’ll explore
what you’ve noticed in your previous relationships, what has felt
difficult, and understanding what drew you to those relationships.
History - We’ll discuss
formative relational experiences, which may include trauma, an
abusive relationship, painful loss, or other experiences.
Attachment - Through the
lens of Attachment Theory, we can make the process of identifying
stable relationships easier, and develop skills to feel safer around others.
Relationship to self - We
can work to understand what beliefs you’ve internalized about
yourself and how they might impact your relationships.
Individual Therapy for Relationship Issues
Romantic partnerships require work,
but you might notice that things just consistently feel hard.
It might be that you and your partner spend too much time
fighting or that you don’t connect the way you’d like to.
It could also be more personal–that you often feel anxious
or like your needs aren’t being met.
We often bring our fears and previous experiences into our
relationships. Something that
seems
like a pattern in your relationship may actually be rooted in the way you relate to yourself
and
others.
If you have a complicated history with conflict you might go out of
our way to avoid it,
sidelining your needs in the process.
If you’ve experienced betrayal in previous relationships, you might
have a hard time
trusting
your partner.
If you don’t always believe you’re worthy of love, you might believe
your partner feels the
same
way and worry they will leave.
These and other feelings wind up causing conflict, miscommunication,
and frustration in
relationships. Though couples’ counseling might be helpful to work through some issues, it
is
also important to address which beliefs are shaping the way you show up with your partner.
Our work together might focus on the following:
Conflict - We’ll identify
your patterns when it comes to conflict and unpack what might be
going
on for you in those moments.
Communication - If
communication has been an issue in your relationship, it is important to
understand why. Do you feel safe communicating your needs? Do you feel heard? Are your words
landing with each other?
Boundaries - When needs are
unmet in a relationship, it might make sense to begin with your
experience with boundaries and expectations.
Intimacy and Trust - We’ll
explore why trust and vulnerability might feel overwhelming for
you
and work toward a greater sense of safety.